Cool Man and Warm Man

For almost a decade. The view of what a man should be like has been heavily influenced by the idea of cool. The cast of seductively cool men includes Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney, and David Beckham. The cool man doesn't try too hard. You don't see them struggling about in a panic, but they succeed anyway. They are known for being physically confident. If they have to do something hard, they'll do it effortlessly without hesitation. They don't worry.

They're always self-contained and sure of themselves. Their outfits are a perfect fit. They express themselves briefly, but their words are always to the point. They're not submissive in the face of authority, and they never crave power. The essential characteristic of the cool man is a feeling of invulnerability, well-handled without any showing off for bragging. Examples of a cool man would be the way he handles difficult or embarrassing moments such as, when the house is on fire, the cool man doesn't scream or call the fire brigade, he would casually put out the fire himself or when someone spills coffee over him, the cool man doesn't get upset.

He removes his jacket and looks even better in his shirt. For most people this is what a man is supposed to be like. For decades, some of the most brilliant minds have devoted themselves to making this notion of masculinity attractive. It's been portrayed as enviable, seductive to women and stylish. And the image has worked. This is what you need to do to be a real man. This model of manhood tortures us with the gap between its ideals and our reality.

Nonetheless, there's another more realistic and more significant image of what a good man is like. This view been given less attention and encouragement very much. This is the very opposite idea of the cool man, what we call the warm Man. The warm man doesn't put out many fires by himself. Instead, he is very much alive to his own anxiety and nervousness. What's unique and praiseworthy is the warm man's relationship to this anxiety. He's aware of it, honest about it, funny with it and yet not overwhelmed by it. He is aware of how demented and breakable we all are. So, he goes out of his way to reassure, to be forgiving and to be gentle.

He tried very hard at times to get things to work out better for himself. However, it just hasn't worked. He has been through many heart-breaking moments. He has done stupid things. He has lost loved ones. He has made bad decisions in his life. His weaknesses have made him very generous to others. When someone spills coffee over him, the warm man laughs. They've spilled a few coffees themselves. When he forgets someone's name, the warm man feels ashamed but honest and says, openly, I'm really sorry and very embarrassed, the warm person admits it feels sorry openly.

The essence of the Warm Man is handling one’s vulnerability. He is aware of his mistakes and faults but uses these facts to become amusingly humorous and a rich cause of sympathy for the secret troubles of every life he encounters. Ideally, one day it will be as desirable to be called warm as it currently is to be labeled cool. At the end in the secret soul of every man, there will be a quiet, fixed desire to be warm.